Kill Meee...KEEEEEELLLL MEEEEE!

These poor dogs...

Needs a home.

Not because They're being abused...

...and not because They're being neglected.

It's because Their owner...

makes and then dresses them in this crap.

Will you sponsor a pup in need today?

Amazon's Latest Magazine Option

Sports Illustrated: Children in Swimsuits Edition

Seriously, who would let their young daughter wear a string bikini

let alone MAKE them one?  For SHAME!

What Mort? Couldn't afford to get her a full vest?

They couldn't even be bothered to style it with a shirt under it.  Or at least a cami?  Not even all the colors in the Gay Rainbow could straighten out this hot mess.

My Gramma Made It.

Dressing like a Grown-Up

you're doing it wrong.

I ♥ The 70's

I would like to give a shout-out to Cheezeburger.com's

"Poorly Dressed People of the World" for this.

Reminding us that Crochet has come a loooong way, baby.

Go Lions!!

I take personal pain in posting this because the colors used in this are that of my High School...but...

it's like someone decided last minute to whip this up for their grandchild who was excited to go to their big brother's Football Game.

How NOT to Make a Sweater

It wasn't cute in the 70's.  It wasn't any cuter in the 80's.
So what makes creating a garment of ANY motif a
SMART IDEA?

PSYCHOdelic

She's wearing a homemade get-up and bearing her teeth.

Men, be afraid.  This is a no pick-up zone.

Flavor Saver

This is a Grape Cozy.  For one grape.  To eat later.  Not now.  Not two.  Just one grape.  To put in your lunchbox.  For later.

but....

If you want to keep more than one grape cozy until later...

You can make more than one.  But why consume that many calories?  I feel fat just looking at that many grapes.

No-More Middle Man

Now, I try not to make fun of anyone's direct pattern posting from their own blog sites, but I'm making an exception for this piece I found on Ravelry.  I saw this while browsing around for random cool stuff and found this.  Of course, getting over being sick, I couldn't help but have this first cynical thought...
"Sweet!  You can skip the HOLDING your wine-glass, tripping, then spilling it on your $500 white cocktail dress and just have it do it ON IT'S OWN!"...nice.

Waste of Good Fiber

Have you ever looked at the hairballs your cat coughs up and think, "Damn that's good felting gone to waste."

I haven't either.

DeConstRuxion

Not only can you buy your clothing predestroyed for $100 or more...

YOU CAN BUY YOUR YARN PRE-MOTH-EATEN FOR $40 A HANK!!

Special Report: Children and the Crap We Make Them!!

Why is it that when we, as knitters, crocheters, and crafters in general are compelled to make anything and everything we deem as "Too Cute for Words" when even the mere MENTION of a baby enters our minds?  I, myself at times, find myself victim of this at times when I search for patterns to make my nearly 2 year-old boy.  As a matter of fact, the worse offenders of this ARE the patterns I find for little boys!!  Check some of this out..

And let me tell you, it took me about 15 minutes to even FIND anything for a baby or toddler boy!  Just imagine how much longer it would take me to find anything CUTE!  I'm starting to wonder if there is some parental code that we must make these things for our children because we secretly want to blackmail our kids as teenagers and young adults.  Or as Aunts,Uncles, and Grandparents, we are testing our children's love for us by seeing if they actually make their babies wear such aweful garments "just for us" then throw in the back of the closet.  You know that "Boogey Man" our children fear?  That's what he's made of.  Hand-made sweaters from Grandma Shirley.

Now, don't think that girls are off the hook?  Just because Lil' Girl patterns are easier to find, actually means they get it worse!  Here are some loverly examples of their pain...

But in the end, let us remember the children in our lives we abuse the most in this way...

Our Fur Babies.......(or feather babies as in one particular case)

Oooookaayyy.... O.o

you do realize that all they did was just chain a bazillion and probably thought "That doesn't look like a good waste of yarn."  Believe me.  There was a reason why they took this picture at a distance.  It's not that cool looking.

This is Just TOO Good!!

Oh please oh please oh PLEASE tell me this girl is going to an interview with these things on!!
HOW CAN YOU LOOK HER IN THE EYE, LET ALONE TAKE HER SERIOUSLY??

**thank you, oh merciful God.  I needed that laugh today!**

which way should I go, which way should I go?

"Hmm...Horizontal Stripes are looking good, but Vertical lines are slimming.  I really don't want to start over, though.  Heck, I don't think anyone will notice."

Inspired by Stevie Nicks...the freakier version.

Hmmm...can't decide on either

"Hippie Fail" or "Raggedy Mess"

Foot Sweater

God I hope the phone doesn't ring or someone comes knocking on the door while you have your feet in this bad boy and you dressed to the nines in your Snuggie.  I would probably never stop laughing if that happened.

Tangrams

Remember playing with those "Tangram" shapes back in elementary school and you were supposed to recreate the picture using ALL of the shapes?  Yeah.  My brain hurts just looking at these.

How to Grow a Chia Baby

 Cha-Cha-Cha-Chia!!!!

Step 1: Pre-soak your packet of chia seeds
Step 2: Spread chia seeds evenly onto the head and feet of your Chia Babytm
Step 3:  Water, Feed, and Change Chia Babytm frequently through out the day
Step 4:  Watch it grow, Grow, GROW!!

How wrong are you, let me count the FAILS:

1.  This is a Mitten.  For a hand.

2.  Wouldn't know this was a mitten if it weren't for the thumb

3.  What did that pointer finger do to you to deserve to be cold?

4.  These mittens make you look like a Muppet

5.  This would be even funnier if the uncovered finger was the middle one.

6.  **caption contest**

OMG!! The Snuggie Craze NEEDS to stop!!

No.

NO!

NO NO NO!!!

WTF?!

OMG!!  When it gets to the point that this Bitch TRULY has everything, 

then the Snuggie Phase HAS to end.  There is no excuse for this.

Fiber Choice FAIL

FAIL

 It's not "Being Green" to reuse the lint from your Lint Trap to spin into yarn and then be made into a skirt. 

Why do we wear such tight pants?

To show off our bulges....BECAUSE WE'RE TWO WILD AND CA-RAZY GUYS!!!

(oh wait...the one on the left is a chick.  oops)

emphasis on buying enough yarn...

Ever start a project and run out of yarn about half-way, then you go stash diving because you don't have enough money to buy more and see a completely different color all together and think, "Meh, This could work, I guess."...sadly, I am guilty.

Ribbon Yarn IS Expensive...

 

It's okay sweetheart.  That ribbon-yarn stuff is expensive.  So you wear that 1 skein wonder with 

THRIFTY PRIDE baby!!