Special Report: Cozies & Covers...why?

This is a banana Cosie & 2 apple cozies.  The purpose of these items is still unknown but tonight's Special Report will go more indepth into the redonkulousness that is: The Cosie.

I was presented a request by one of my Stitch n' Bitchers, Tabby.  Her request was for me to do a piece on "Egg Sweaters".  Y'know, those egg cosies that look like little sweaters on eggs...even though no one eats Poached, or Prodded, or what ever kind of eggs those are that you put on golf tees.

Well, I decided to make this special report on the "COSIE PHENOMENON" in general.  Back in the dark ages, before there were microwaves and electric tea kettles, people used "Regular" tea kettles to heat their tea water for afternoon tea.  They would transfer this water into a ceramic, glass, or metal kettle (tee-hee, that rhymes).  To keep the water from going cold quickly, they would make Covers or the more cutsie term "Cosies" to help insulate the kajiggers.  From there, people would make cosies to keep many things warm, like their warmed egg thinggies.  Eventually, housewives who knit or crocheted would find themselves with a little too much free-time.  Too much free-time begets bordom, bordom begets creativeness, creativeness begets this:

 

Seriously, I can't drink from something that looks like a car.  Too many bad memories of my days in driver's training.  

Sorry, *ahem* from there, it has now become an obsession with knitters and crocheter's alike.  It's like giving a teenager a wad of money because you're leaving for the weekend and you're trusting them alone with the house.  You can tell them all you want not to blow the money on stuff they don't need & junk food..let alone no parties...but you know you're going to come home to pizza boxes and bags from all sorts of shops in the mall!  Like yarn-a-holics, we have spare yarn that WE SWEAR WE ARE GOING TO DONATE TO CHARITY BECAUSE OUR STASH IS TOO BIG, but you know we just saw this really sweet JAVA JACKET with cute lil' flower applique's!!

There is a point where this becomes too much free time and not enough productivity.  So please, don't let friends have too much free time.  Cosies are the first sign of yarn addiction and an intervention of the person's Stitch n' Bitch group and their yarn store manager.  With a little time and tough love, they will be back to making afghans, sweaters (for people, not food), and mayhaps an accessory or two.

I leave you with a few gems.