Special Report: Children and the Crap We Make Them!!

Why is it that when we, as knitters, crocheters, and crafters in general are compelled to make anything and everything we deem as "Too Cute for Words" when even the mere MENTION of a baby enters our minds?  I, myself at times, find myself victim of this at times when I search for patterns to make my nearly 2 year-old boy.  As a matter of fact, the worse offenders of this ARE the patterns I find for little boys!!  Check some of this out..

And let me tell you, it took me about 15 minutes to even FIND anything for a baby or toddler boy!  Just imagine how much longer it would take me to find anything CUTE!  I'm starting to wonder if there is some parental code that we must make these things for our children because we secretly want to blackmail our kids as teenagers and young adults.  Or as Aunts,Uncles, and Grandparents, we are testing our children's love for us by seeing if they actually make their babies wear such aweful garments "just for us" then throw in the back of the closet.  You know that "Boogey Man" our children fear?  That's what he's made of.  Hand-made sweaters from Grandma Shirley.

Now, don't think that girls are off the hook?  Just because Lil' Girl patterns are easier to find, actually means they get it worse!  Here are some loverly examples of their pain...

But in the end, let us remember the children in our lives we abuse the most in this way...

Our Fur Babies.......(or feather babies as in one particular case)

Oooookaayyy.... O.o

you do realize that all they did was just chain a bazillion and probably thought "That doesn't look like a good waste of yarn."  Believe me.  There was a reason why they took this picture at a distance.  It's not that cool looking.

This is Just TOO Good!!

Oh please oh please oh PLEASE tell me this girl is going to an interview with these things on!!
HOW CAN YOU LOOK HER IN THE EYE, LET ALONE TAKE HER SERIOUSLY??

**thank you, oh merciful God.  I needed that laugh today!**

which way should I go, which way should I go?

"Hmm...Horizontal Stripes are looking good, but Vertical lines are slimming.  I really don't want to start over, though.  Heck, I don't think anyone will notice."

Inspired by Stevie Nicks...the freakier version.

Hmmm...can't decide on either

"Hippie Fail" or "Raggedy Mess"

Foot Sweater

God I hope the phone doesn't ring or someone comes knocking on the door while you have your feet in this bad boy and you dressed to the nines in your Snuggie.  I would probably never stop laughing if that happened.

Tangrams

Remember playing with those "Tangram" shapes back in elementary school and you were supposed to recreate the picture using ALL of the shapes?  Yeah.  My brain hurts just looking at these.

How to Grow a Chia Baby

 Cha-Cha-Cha-Chia!!!!

Step 1: Pre-soak your packet of chia seeds
Step 2: Spread chia seeds evenly onto the head and feet of your Chia Babytm
Step 3:  Water, Feed, and Change Chia Babytm frequently through out the day
Step 4:  Watch it grow, Grow, GROW!!

How wrong are you, let me count the FAILS:

1.  This is a Mitten.  For a hand.

2.  Wouldn't know this was a mitten if it weren't for the thumb

3.  What did that pointer finger do to you to deserve to be cold?

4.  These mittens make you look like a Muppet

5.  This would be even funnier if the uncovered finger was the middle one.

6.  **caption contest**

OMG!! The Snuggie Craze NEEDS to stop!!

No.

NO!

NO NO NO!!!

WTF?!

OMG!!  When it gets to the point that this Bitch TRULY has everything, 

then the Snuggie Phase HAS to end.  There is no excuse for this.